


Recovery

by ifreakinglovewriting



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Recovery, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 16:57:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifreakinglovewriting/pseuds/ifreakinglovewriting
Summary: Yoongi doesn’t have a choice, does he? Maybe Jimin is able to show him more options, giving him a choice in life.





	Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what has come over me to write this!! This is so sad, at least at first, because I’m planning a happy end :) Enjoy and please read at your own risk! <3

“I…” The man’s voice broke and Jimin was sure he could hear stifled sobs. Silence was never a good sign, he needs the people to talk to him, in order to reach them.

“Sir?” His voice was coming off calmer than he felt, but that’s his job. “Talk to me please.” Jimin encouraged.

“I…I…”

“It’s alright take a deep breath. What’s your name?”

“I…wanted to kill myself.” Jimin heard those words every day. But it always hit him. The callers were overwhelmed, often just realizing what they are about to do. And all those consequences flashed through their mind. 

“But you didn’t,’“ Jimin answered. ”Where are you, sir?”

“My bed…room…” Came the low answer after a while.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes.” The most common answer, to that question. Again choked sobs were heard from the other end.

“Sir, try to take deep breaths.” Jimin did as he said, so the man can adapt his rhythm. “In….and out….”

“…Yoongi…” Was suddenly the word, Jimin could make out in between trying to calm the man.

“Excuse me?”

“My name is Min Yoongi.”

“Okay, Yoongi…” Often it was better to address someone directly with their given name, for many people it helped them feel safer and as if someone cares. “How are you feeling, now?”

“…a little better…”

“Are those thoughts still there?” Jimin was careful, some callers could be triggered if he addresses the problem directly.

“I think…but I guess…not that bad.” The man’s voice was hesitant, and Jimin decided to talk a little more, to be sure that he did all he can.

“That’s good to hear.” He tried to make the smile obvious in his voice. “What are you going to do tomorrow, Yoongi.” Again the usage of the man’s name.

“I…” He seemed surprised by that answer. “I don’t know.” Yoongi sounded disappointed by himself.

“What do you like to do?”

“Writing…lyrics…”

“WOW…that sounds amazing.” Jimin cheered, but he kept his voice down so he wouldn’t startle the other.

“But I’m not good at it…”

“I don’t think so, Yoongi.” Jimin bit his bottom lip, thinking for a minute. “Is there a coffee shop in your area?”

“Yes…?”

“You could go there tomorrow…take a notebook with you…and while enjoying a cup of some delicious drink, write down your thoughts, make them into lyrics…if the coffee shop is too loud, walk to a park. Or home and open your windows, let the sun in. Look at the city and just decide what you see. What do you think?”

“I…guess…I could do that…” The man stuttered, but he sounded much freer than before and he seemed to stop crying.

“Great. Are you okay for now, Yoongi?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We are always just a call away, so don’t hesitate if it’s getting worse again?”

There was a moment of silence, Yoongi probably nodded, not aware that he is on the phone. “I will…” he then quickly added.

“Good night, Yoongi.”

“Night.” Jimin waited for the other to end the call as a sign that he really was ready to be alone again. He realised his breath when the call was cut. The young man took his headset down. To say that he was used to that rush and thrill, was a lie. He couldn’t stop to worry. All he could is to tell himself that he did his best and that the man, promised to call if he was in danger again.

“Hard night?” He looked up at Namjoon, who offered him a sympathetic smile.

“As always,” Jimin nodded. “My shift is over, I’ll get some sleep now…and tell me if the last number calls again.”

“Sure.” Namjon nodded, before settling down in the seat, getting the headset on.

“Bye, Jiminie.”

“Goodbye, hyung.”

——-

He looked at the warm cup in his hand. The warmth was creating small clouds in the air. It was already spring but still quite cold, despite the warm sun. Yoongi really did it. He decided to follow the suggestion by the guy he talked to on the suicide hotline. After that night, he knew he must get out of the small apartment, not that it will fix all his problems, but for now, it might be the right choice.

He had stopped by the small coffee shop “Sunshine’s” near his apartment, getting a cup of coffee. Now he sat on a bench in the quiet park, only a few people with their dogs, were around. On his knees rested a small notepad and the pencil was tugged in his pocket. After a deep breath, he took it out. But how to start? The man said he should write his thoughts down. Yoongi nibbled on the end of the pencil, hesitating.

With last doubts, he scribbled down the first sentences. His whole thoughts were still at last night events. He knew that his condition was getting worse, but it was nearly too late when he looked at all the pills in his hand. Probably, the easiest death was all his brain could manage. He would fall asleep and die without feeling pain. But there was still that part in his brain that resisted. The anxiety, always overthinking. But what about your family? Your friends? He couldn’t, but it was so hard to stop.

Swallowing the pills would just be faster and the easiest way out. His vision had been blurry, tears streaming down his face, still, he had never felt so clear in his mind before, reaching for his phone it didn’t take long until he had dialled the number.

He released his breath, the pills dropping to the ground when he let go of them, hearing the calm voice from the other end. He had felt ashamed, defeated…weak. 

Yoongi noticed how wet drops, fell onto the paper, smearing a few rods. Quickly he wiped away the tears. With a sight, he put the notepad away closing his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the silence. but his moment gets interrupted by a barking dog and quickly he got up rushing back to his flat. Why was he so stupid to leaves his room, anyway?


End file.
